Don’t you want to be truly known and understood? Not just pitied or tolerated, but affirmed, encouraged and adored? That’s intimacy. But it’s difficult to reach – and costly to maintain. Be proactive in developing such a relationship by taking the following steps.
1. Reestablish your commitment.
This is primarily a unilateral decision. If an intimate relationship is your goal, remember that intimacy thrives when planted in the rich soil of unconditional love.
2. Think like a man.
Understand that, for him, sex is primary! It cannot be separated from his understanding of intimacy. Verbal intimacy may be your goal but jump in with both feet and be intimate with him in the language he speaks.
3. Brainstorm romantic strategies to arouse him.
Being available, cheerful, and awake for regular sexual encounters actually promotes emotional intimacy. Additionally, you may find your satiated man more communicative and self-aware.
4. Risk vulnerability.
Making demands, refusing to take the first step, or half-hearted attempts all spring from self-protection. Be ALL IN and make it safe for him to open up.
5. Spend time together.
Seek to share in his dreams as you affirm him and ask gentle questions. Listen well. Affirm his attributes and appreciate the uniqueness in him.
These general guidelines have been proven powerful, but must be repeated often – and with enthusiasm. Don’t grow weary in loving deliberately. It’s worth it.