Are you okay about not being okay? Most of us would agree that we can learn from our mistakes. But when it comes to our children….
I’ll never forget one of the earliest teacher conferences I had concerning my firstborn child. The seemingly negative assessment and numerated critiques of my precious one cut to my heart and made my blood boil. No way! This is someone else’s fault!
It’s only natural for us to become roaring lionesses when our cubs are attacked. But at some point this behavior becomes destructive.
In a wonderful parenting bestseller, “The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Techniques to Raise Self-Reliant Children” by Dr. Wendy Mogel, overprotective mommies are called out.
Why do I refuse to hear criticism about my child?
How are my dreams and expectations coloring the way my child sees himself?
When is it okay to let a child fall down and suffer the consequences?
Mogel stresses the importance of faith in the household. Why? Because faith determines what is ultimately most important. If godly character, respect and kindness are most important, then discipline and hard lessons are not only acceptable, but essential.
On reflection, no matter what our professed faith may be, our actions truly reveal where our functional priorities reside.
- If reputation and appearance are everything, then our children are encouraged to look and act perfectly.
- If we stress over financial security, then educational success, admission to top universities, and well-paying careers become our children’s priority.
- If we live for our children’s love, then we sacrifice everything to make them happy. (Trust me, this is a lose-lose.)
Honestly, my faith journey has been one of many skinned knees. Personal pain and flub-ups are essential to get my attention. I truly remind myself of a mule I once knew.
Bottom line: “Skinned knees” are great teaching moments. Let’s embrace them and learn. Let us, with humility, celebrate such moments with our children and point them to the wisdom of our faith!