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Kim Skinner | Community Connections | Friends

Friends In Strange Places

A year ago, I volunteered to help homeless women at Community Connections. I host the monthly event “Women’s Empowerment Night” and have had high hopes of really helping these women. Month after month, I have prepared their meals, slowly discovering how much they appreciate food. Others have joined me to bake terrific desserts and they are served with smiles and laughter. I have designed motivating talks in hopes of making recovery better for these fifty women who are so deserving of support.

Community Connections provides a residency-training program that rehabilitates, trains, and counsels women on the road to a productive life. Some are college educated. Some are grandmothers. Others have been abused and are fearful of the world they live in. Many of them have their children in-residence as well. I have truly enjoyed getting to know all of them.

Repeated contact and the passing of time together have helped us to become friends. Laughter and shared experiences have been, I believe, stripping cultural and racial barriers.

It feels good – helping in some small way. But I was so surprised this month to experience their help and encouragement for ME!

They may not think white girls are very sexy. Who knew? Yet, I have discovered that many of them truly care about THIS white girl.

As they were leaving, I received many hugs and kind words about our family’s upcoming wedding and the nearing birth of three granddaughters.

I felt surprised. They care?

I felt exhilarated. They care!

I feel humbled.

I’ve always taught that letting people into your life and steadfastly “being there” is the best way to befriend someone. I guess I never really expected for these women to befriend ME!

Sometimes life surprises us! How sweet it is!

Bathroom | Blog | Kim Skinner | Jacksonville Author

Funny Things You Learn In a Public Bathroom

This morning I was dressing in the gym bathroom as a cute mother and her four-year-old daughter walked in. Upon seeing me she hid shyly, but soon pranced into the stall with her Mommy. I then overheard, “Oh Mommy, I love your pretty panties. Do you want to see mine?”

So many memories flashed through my mind. I remember the time my daughter Ashley noticed, “Mommy, that woman next to us forgot to put on her socks this morning!”

One of my children, probably a son, was indignant about bodily noises. “Somebody forgot to say excuse me!” he would protest.

I still remember the time I was sitting on the potty attempting to nurse my infant while corralling my preschooler in the stall with me. The little rascal escaped by climbing under the door into the next stall. I threatened and begged to no avail. Finally, I jumped up with the infant still attached and confronted amazed onlookers as the door swung open. “Don’t you ever escape like that again!” Embarrassed women snuck out as I composed myself and finally discovered my hiding son.

I’m sure that my husband David has never suffered such indignities. In fact, the only time I can remember was when I asked him to take our firstborn 3-year-old son into the restroom with him at church. During their time together Davis was heard to say, “Daddy you have a really big peepee,” to which David replied, “Well thank you, son.” Evidently, one of the college students was in there with them and I observed him high-fiving David on the way out.

Children have a knack for embarrassing you in even the most vulnerable and delicate of situations. I encourage you to laugh at those moments, even when you feel like crawling into a hole. Keep your sense of humor and you never know what you might learn from the mouths of precious babes in the privy.

Wives in the Locker Room

Wives In the Locker Room: Sneak Peek!

My first marriage book is finally launching and a book-signing party is coming up!  I just couldn’t wait to share the first chapter here.

Why all the excitement?

  • I believe every woman, regardless of marital status or sports affiliation/aversion, struggles with relationships and “difficult” people.  (Just because it’s not your husband doesn’t mean that the principles don’t apply.)
  • I put a lot of ME into this book. I truly think you can relate and will be amused. And of course, new perspectives are always helpful.
  • This book is meant to be shared. How many young women do you know that could benefit from a fun and potentially life-changing read?

Please join me at the party!

The book signing will be at The BookMark in Neptune Beach (22o First Street) on February 9 at 7 p.m.  So enjoy this snippet and then pick up your copy in person on February 9 just in time for Valentine’s Day with your man!  Can’t make it out to The BookMark?  You can get a copy right here.

develop greater intimacy | kim skinner | words for women blog

5 Ways To Develop Intimacy In Marriage

Don’t you want to be truly known and understood? Not just pitied or tolerated, but affirmed, encouraged and adored? That’s intimacy. But it’s difficult to reach – and costly to maintain. Be proactive in developing such a relationship by taking the following steps.

1. Reestablish your commitment.

This is primarily a unilateral decision. If an intimate relationship is your goal, remember that intimacy thrives when planted in the rich soil of unconditional love.

2. Think like a man.

Understand that, for him, sex is primary! It cannot be separated from his understanding of intimacy. Verbal intimacy may be your goal but jump in with both feet and be intimate with him in the language he speaks.

3. Brainstorm romantic strategies to arouse him.

Being available, cheerful, and awake for regular sexual encounters actually promotes emotional intimacy. Additionally, you may find your satiated man more communicative and self-aware.

 4.  Risk vulnerability.

Making demands, refusing to take the first step, or half-hearted attempts all spring from self-protection. Be ALL IN and make it safe for him to open up.

5.  Spend time together.

Seek to share in his dreams as you affirm him and ask gentle questions. Listen well. Affirm his attributes and appreciate the uniqueness in him.

These general guidelines have been proven powerful, but must be repeated often – and with enthusiasm. Don’t grow weary in loving deliberately. It’s worth it.

Asking Our Husbands For Help

Asking Our Husbands For Help

I recently read this humorous definition of outdoor barbecuing:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:

One. The woman goes to the store to buy all the ingredients for the meal.

Two. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables and dessert.

Three. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a cola.

Four. The man places the meat on the grill.

Five. The woman goes inside to set the table, put out the condiments, and check the vegetables.

Six. The woman comes out to tell the man the meat is burning.

Seven. The man gets off his lounge chair, puts his cola down, takes the meat off the grill, and hands it to the woman.

Eight. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

Nine. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

Ten. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

Funny, but true I think. Nevertheless, we women have the potential to help our husbands to help us or to further develop helplessness in these poor men.

Last week my husband and I spent a week alone with the purpose of resting and re-committing ourselves to a vibrant healthy marriage relationship. Here are some of the neglected principles I, again, recognized.

When we need help from our husbands, we should kindly and specifically request such help. Example: “Honey it would mean so much to me and make my day less stressful if you would please ______.” Remember to follow this with affection and positive encouragement.

Wait patiently, refusing to do the task yourself, and praise his efforts upon completion. Don’t correct or criticize.  Help him to understand why you appreciate what he has accomplished.

 Ask him for affirmation and encouragement.  When it comes to caring for the home and children, I am generally more comfortable and efficient. I have found that possibly the most helpful way my husband contributes to the family is with a supportive attitude and repeated words of affirmation and appreciation. Don’t hesitate to say, “Honey, today I really need for you to brag on me.”

Refuse to poke fun at your husband’s attempts at domestic helping. My patient husband helped me to understand that my humorous comments about his peculiarities or ineptness around the house hurt him deeply. I needed to be called out. Instead, I have committed to expressing gratitude for the many things he does for me and our family.

In conclusion, I have discovered that left unchecked I am naturally prone to be selfish and demanding. “I need” is the voice of my heart. When I am reminded to be considerate of the needs of my husband, I discover that he responds with a cheerful willingness to help. Amazing but true. The more we demand the less we receive. The more we give the better. Give it a try.

Kim took time to chat at the "Speaking of Women's Health" event in August 2014.

Kim Skinner – “Which Dog Are You?” (Montage)


In this montage video, Kim’s entire day at the “Speaking of Women’s Health” event in downtown Jacksonville is documented as she delivers her message and interacts with the attendees.

Blog-Pug

Temperament Training Tips: How to Get Along!

Do you ever feel like it’s a dog-eat-dog world? Someone is always bossing you around or barking up your tree! It may help to understand the cause of all of the bossing and barking. Read more

The Goat Lady - Fainting Goats

“Turning Weaknesses Into Strengths” – The Goat Lady, Pt. 5

In this segment, Kim encourages her audience to look at the bright side (even with “fainting goats”) and celebrate our quirks and differences!